Euphemisms for Masterbation..

Willys cynical thought for the fugging day;

Life is freaking sexually transmitted! I posted the Female already now here's male!

A euphemism is the substitution of an agreeable or inoffensive expression for one that may offend or suggest something unpleasant; also : the expression so substituted.

A

Abusing the usual suspect

Angry fist action

Answer the bone-a-phone

Assault on a friendly weapon

B

Backstroke roulette

Baiting your hook

Ball off

Batting practice

Bash the bishop

Bash the candle

Beat off

Beat your hog

Beating the bait

Beating the bishop

Beating the dummy

Beating the snake

Beating the stick

Beating your meat

Being your own best friend

Belt your hog

Blanket drill, The

Bleed the lizard

Bleed the weed

Blessing the alter boy

Blow Your load

Bludgeon the beefsteak

Bop the baloney

Bop the boa

Bop the hog

Boppin' your bologna

Box the Jesuit

Boxing the clown

Buckin' it

Buffing the banana

Buffing the wood

Burping the worm

Bust a nut

Butter your corn

C

Cajun clown f@cking

Calling down for more mayo

Calling genie

Cast off

Chafing the weasel

Changing your oil

Charm the cobra