Oh dear, before I start I w..

But, one day at the pearly gates St Peter noticed a dark old car pull up and out of it steps the deceased former leader of the nazi party, A.Hitler himself. St Peter is astounded at this obvious terrible mistake and starts frantically waving him away. "Stop" he says "I really do think you have come to the wrong place. It's a meeting with a Mr Satan that's scheduled for you" "No" says Adolph "I absolutely refuse to go down there, it plays havoc with my gingery skin colouring, and if you let me in I will give you the highest token of my esteem, this being the cherished iron cross" St Peter was mortified and called over to jesus, "Jesus, come here" said St Peter, "It's Adolph Hitler at the gates and he says if we let him in he'll give us this lovely shiney iron cross" Jesus takes the medal from St Peter and calls out to God, "Dad" and repeats the same story, to which God replies, "Son you had a wooden one and you couldnt carry that, what d'ya want an iron one for?"

Yeah, why he require an iron one.. God is right! >>> here's one for you:

Matthew goes into a confessional box and says "Bless me father for I have sinned, I have been with a loose woman."

The Priest says "is that you Matthew?"

"Yes father, it is I."