Born Again Christians Pleas..

My wife have been together for a long time, so she knows that other women find me very attractive. They are always complimenting me on my beard for example.

But as born again christians, we know that beauty is something that is skin deep and will pass. After all, on the day of rapture God will melt us all into a heap of hot stew and faeces so it will not matter much then how hot we look.

But recently she has become jealous and has been doing things to hurt me and get my attention.

Our neighbour Chrissy, a single mother, came over for dinner. My wife came in when I was bending over Chrissy to help her with her napkin. My wife says we were kissing on the lips.

So last night she went out all jealous and smoked heroin with some other guy from the church. We don麓t use needles, we are decent folk and know how to live proper.

I say it is immoral and a sin to be jealous of me. I told her God would punish her.

Am I right, or is my wife in the clear with God?

You must find it in your heart to forgive your wife. This will take time, so you may find yourself doing harmless things to "get even", like hiding her magic underpants. As long as it is harmless these pranks are OK.

Always remember the lessons of Hysterectomy 16.7; "If the sheep were lost, and thee could not find them, thee wouldst have to leave them alone!"

You might get together with your wife and Chrissy and propose sublimating the anger by learning to cook together. I understand that a three-decker flesh sandwich can solve problems such as yours but don't have the details on how they are made.